Disappear!

I want to be a magician. Be a magician and bring a smile, create a thunder and disappear.  Disappear in to thin air and no one knows what I do, ever. What they know is only that smile. I want to be a part of that exclamation, of that one moment and disappear. Disappear in such thin air that even I don't feel myself. Become a part of that illusion that eludes people forever. Illusion that tricks, brings a smile but doesn't stay along. I want to be a magician where only I know my tricks. Tricks discovered in deep solace and isolation.

And when God shall come, I ll trick him too. Trick him so that he never tricks me, to heaven or to another life. I ll leave him puzzled but with a smile, shall tell him how magic rules life, no age, no class, all genders aside.. Shall ask him to make me a magician forever. Dissolve me as person, let magic reside. 

Saraswati

Vo Hostel vaali evening a.k.a Halwaa'e' waali shaam

A Sunday evening-holiday after week long of work, a  sumptuous afternoon lunch followed by a nap.

"Get up, it is 5 pm. How many times should I tell you not to sleep beyond 5..aa aa aaa  " , I was woken up with my mother's usual wake up call. The dim lit room, unstinting to open my eyes, I was wondering how on earth did I lose touch of her wake up calls. I wondered even more, what we used to do at 5 PM when at IIT, who used to wake me up and that followed a long time of memories unforgettable.

I still remember the first year when we would finish classes at 5:30 pm, come to our rooms, fresh up and then take our room-mates for evening snacks. You know how kid-like we were. And by second year we would rush from the class at 5:20 so that we could avoid the mess line. "Washing hands,freshening up..what?!!?"
To our journey to final year, when our day started with evening snacks :D "the bliss of doing nothing"

The I dug some more, when the memory brought up some amazing and happening evenings. Let me take you through them :)

"The one where wing-mates swear to wake you up and not even Gods could stop them"

"Vo Nautanki vaali Kabaddi ki shaam"

"Vo pehle Birthday vaai shaam..Kyunki bhai, raat ko tho hum so jaate hain (1sy year)"

"NSS waali shaam. TOW the social work and Cute waale clothes ;)"

"The evening  with the first stage dance! :)"

"Vo ek hi Tarbuz ko 12 log khaane vaali shaam"

 

 "Vo Dance practice karne waali shaam, vo steps bhoolne vaali shaam"

"The evening with the actual stage performance, the evening of Bong Bindis, 

Boy-cut Jada and  Telugu thumkas"

 

           
                                                     

"Vo gaming vaali shaam! "   

"Khaana Banane waali shaam. The one where one cooked and 4 posed ;)"

"The evening with all the prayers! :-)"

"The KtJ evening!"

"ILLU ke rozgaari waali shaam! "

The evening of exam and power cut! "Albert Einstein waali shaam ;)"

"The evening with SF and Nautanki."

"World CUP jeetne waali shaam!"

"The one with evening snacks! "

"The one with nothing else to do a.k.a Vellapanthi vaali shaam"

"Pehle Hookah'e' waali shaam"

"Farewell dinner waali shaam!"

"Vo Good-bye waali shaam!"

No wonder evenings were this happening that life passed in splash of time. I dont remember life before Halwaa but life after was for sure, one hell of a journey...Here's to a long lasting and happening  friendship  ..

Grateful to all of you for being born! 

Saraswati

The best friends & The lovers

And here's a long one..

This is the story of two bitter sweet friends or may be enemies, we can decide once read it full. Story of friendship and relationship. How many a times have't we heard two people in love through common friend. But more often we hear friends falling apart because their relationships.This post is also a story of Judy and Jane, two loveliest girls and best-est friends. So close that nothing could separate them till Jane fell in love. :)

"So, what the fu*k, I was here first" Said Friendship to Relationship. "Yes, I know. But I am gonna last forever while you shall go away with time." said Relationship. "True! Time and distance hasn't spared anyone, would it ever spare friendship", thought Friendship and kept mum.

Her new found love,  wouldn't let Jane have her feet on ground. So much of happiness, that she was totally in love with being in love. Of all the things she enjoyed the most was narrating to Judy, the experience of those little butterflies in stomach, the feeling of blush, the feeling of pampering and being pampered. Judy heard them all in deep appreciation or may be silence. Though most of things they talked about surrounded around Jane's love, as long as they were talking Judy was okay!

"See, it is me who make those feelings turn to experiences, through sharing", said Friendship. "But How long would you? I am the source of  the most beautiful feeling  world have had", said Relationship and  turned away.

Jane started spending more time with her love. Judy, strong enough to deny that she was feeling lonely, kept waiting for days when Jane would come back through that door and spend hours talking.

 Relationship Laughed. Friendship held its end of faith. 


Love took it's course. The door opened today, Jane came in, but to Judy's dismay, she was crying all over. She had a fight with her love and things seemed so unclear. Love seemed to end but Judy made her think till the clarity dawned. Jane reconciled with love and Judy made it happen.


Friendship was proud. "So, you were gonna last! huh! I made you last.", it said.  Relationship was dumbfound! The pride was shared with fear though, fear of losing it all again. 

Grateful Jane showered Judy with all the love. Judy wasn't listening today though. She was lost, lost in thoughts, lost in love! No, not Jane's love, some one else's. It took only a moment for Jane to realize. They shared the tightest hug. So, now it was Jane's turn to feel miserable.

Hahaha..Laughed Relationship again as Friendship cried in pain.

But, something unexpected happened. Jane's relationship and her alleged enemy of friendship,Jane's love came to her rescue. He filled every vacuum of Judy. He made Jane bypass the circle of longing pain, love made her understand Judy. Love made space for their friendship and made it all the more important.

Jane and Judy went back to being the best-est friends they ever were added with more flavor of understanding. and their relationships intact ;)


Friendship: So, huh! We were made..
Relationship: ..to complement each other..I guess so dude!
Friendship: Not enemies..So all this time we were the essence of each other..
Relationship: I know!! We actually helped each other exist..oh! dear god! We wanted to cross each other's path when we were supposed to walk together! Sigh!
Friendship: Well...
Relationship: well?!
Friendship: I love you
Relationship: I love you, too


Saraswati Chandra

Of one Bride and 19 Bridesmaids

Me: I wanna be an official sky-diver. I realized today, this what I have always wanted to do, my passion
P1: (Erm! scratching head)Cooooool! Go Ahead Man!
Me: (With Hands wide up in the air) If I put HUGE mirrors on earth, we can reflect sunlight at Night, then we wont need electricity
P2: (devastated) When will we sleep?!?! (realizing) how much does daylight matter!!
Me: I ll kill poor people and end poverty. Then I ll be THE AWESOME! 
P4: (faints)


Me: I have an awesome idea!!
P3: Really! I have a brilliant idea too!! (Awww!!)


I found my dream guy! The best opposite that could ever be. I was THE Awesome, he-A Awesome (A and THE are opposites, right?!  so, we complement ;) ). A super romantic end to a hard loved college life, a lovely wedding ahead..

BUT..Ever heard of the term bridesmaids. Yeah, yeah! the lovely ladies who get to have the dress, the make-up, the guy and all the attention without actually having to get married!!  Okay, dont scream now, I know that the lovely three ladies help the bride. Only that I had NINETEEN of them. (Halwaa).

Today, I had to break the news about the wedding. The butterflies had already started their job in my stomach. I dont know, what scared me. I wasnt looking for their approval but then I wanted them all to approve it. I wasn't scared of the jokes they would crack but then I didnt wantthem to do it,not today. I wasn't expecting them to cry of happiness but then I wanted to see them smile with love, happiness and contentment. Baah! May be I was thinking too much..Being in love does that to you :P

(confused, confident, happy but pale) I told them. Okay, I mailed.( It doesnt matter, in Halwaa we dont care, promise!)

1min, 2min, 3 min, and there came in the first mail ''congratulations'' , followed by more "I am happy for you" and then some more of them. Hmm, neat, phew! that was so easy. Turns out I WAS thinking too much. But something was missing. ( "But then you wanted them to be courteous and well mannered", I told myself). I kept staring at my screen, refreshing my inbox.

1 Hour passed : There they were, the mails, screaming out from my inbox

"I ll do the make-up"
"I am doing the shopping"
"I am the  maid of honour, I was her depmate"
"No way...I am the maid of her of honour, I was her roommate"
"How could you forget, I am the hairstylist"
"I want the attention, I want to wear the MOST different colour"
"We will make everyone dance, choose the song"
''Aww. You know Nathan Haley (One tree Hill) also married right after college..We support you"
"Dare anyone miss it"
And so on ........it went and is going on...!   - (adi HALWAA ante, asala roopam)


:)..Now I had a smile form ear to ear..I switched off my PC and slept in peace.Relieved.Telling myself "God! what the hell was I thinking. It was so simple, it's Halwaa, it US. " Unlimited was the excitement and unconditional was the support.

Yes, one groom, NINETEEN bridesmaids  and the lucky and AWESOME bride, me! :P
You are invited and I sure shall keep you posted on how many fell for them and how many hearts they broke, on my wedding day!! Hopefully you shall get to see some of my pictures! I shall guide you on how to locate the bride! :D

Saraswati  (P.S. Not my wedding! ;))

Mumbaii!

The New York of India

City of dreams, city of Bollywood, a city always awake, a city whose spirit never dies, India's New York and so much I had heard about it that I was in love with it even before I met it. 

This weekend this long cherished dream came true! As I close my eyes and 

Museum

think about the buzzing city with it's calm companion (the sea), the energy still fills me up and a smile of freshness comes over. A realization of where writer get their motivation from. Closest encounter with everything that life has put on your table. It is so close to what they show in movies, so close. Be it the joggers park at Nariman Point where the old begin their day or the evening Sunset at Chowpatty where the young love finds peace, the fashion street where everything sells or the Sensex tower which decides what will sell, The Haji Ali Dargah where Hindus and Muslims are almost equal in number or The  Prince Wales museum which takes you by its history irrespective of age. I loved it, loved every moment of it.

Gateway of India & Taj

The Gateway of India, the long ferry into the sea, the magnificent Taj and Red&yellow cab. One of the first few cities I felt I was very familiar with. It never felt new, never felt like it was the first time. Wondered if it was indeed the magic of the City or because they said it all in movies.

Sunset at Haji Ali

Saraswati :) 

And Still we hear it.....

As promised, I have the saaga of the Caste System, for us.

Its been two days here and it has left me high and dry. I am not drawing any conclusions here about our country but merely sharing an experience, just an exxperience..

                                                

Not that we were never aware of this problem before but seeing it being practiced hard to the core is wonder and amazement in itself. Our first encounter. A degree college Brahmin "professor". His analogy"Just like each there are good and bad varieties of seeds of rice , so are humans". Wonder what is he teaching at his college.

The small village of Barpar is divided into four sects separated by wide roads,crossroads, the muslim area, the harijans, the SC/STs and the Brahmins. While Gorakhpur as a city sees so much of development, women wearing jeans and shorts, Barpar have Muslim women who havent crossed there area of their tribe ,forget going beyond barpar. If brahmins, they havent crossed the boundaries of their homes, thanks to our very old Pardas System.THEY ARE LIVING IN A RADIUS OF 200 M. 

Hell yeah! the good part is the Sarpanch tenure is rotated among these SC/ST/RELIGIONS/TRIBES. It has it's own pros and cons. Too late to get in that debate for the it keeps the people in harmony and secularism. That's what we are, aren't we, a secular state.

Saraswati

Not 60 Years Back!

A series of posts, for you and for me. My experiences at one of the smallest and oldest villages of India, Barpar, an India away from India, in the corner of Uttar Pradesh, tells it's own story. A living history of the country. Something I thought ceased to exist is in life and form, Barpar.

  In parts. here is the first one-

Ah! the Saaga of Caste System. Yes, there is a lot to write on this but a small part of this brutal system, which deserves a special mention. A story that shook away the pride of everything.

Moosahar -heard the name before?!. It is a tribe of people who kill the rats -which gather in the rice field after harvesting- to eat them. Yes it is true! And there are 10 lakh of such people in India. One such village was were we had been to today. Till an year back they hadnt heard of electricity ..Not that they had very frequent power cuts.. no no..THEY HADNT HEARD OF POWER AT HOMES..Reason-they are the untouchables of the village, not to be talked to.

Thanks to an OLD couple who adopted that part of the country, opened a school there. The couple say "till last year students from higher caste wont sit with them, share lunch box/eat beside them nor play with them. But now with education, the divide is decreasing. They go to each other's place and play. This recieved a wide criticism from the higher communities around. They said if you educate them who will do the labour job, but we were persitent and we see the change.  It is little but it is there." 

This community is known for making beautiful woven baskets, which are sold in cities at prices much higher than they are bought at. Poverty struck them so hard that a father charged money from her daughter to drop to her hospital for tuberclosis treatment.

She died! Because she couldnt visit the doctor the next time! Because

she didnt pay him the last time and he didnt take her the next time! They exist! They all do. Very much in our own world having a world of their own!

Saraswati