And I am here to write again. To share a personal story.
By second year, I had sort of made peace with the biases. May be I gave in to some, kept some to fight later and ignored some. May be all those harmonal reasons they give are true. May be skewed sex ratio makes it like this. Reasons we told ourselves, reasons we seldom believed in, reasons we wish were not true! But anyway, how much worse could it be as long as we ignore it? May be "sour grapes", is a reason.
She was crying today in the wing. Inconsolable and innocent, I remember her face. Red wet eyes with anger, regret and helplessness. "They made a collage of our pictures and put it on DC++", another friend mentioned. "Which pics?", I asked. The hostel party (happens inside the hostel) ones. "Probably just a collage, of all of us. I am sure it should be okay.". "You might want to see it first because it is NOT okay", she said.
The heart stopped for moment. I tried to remember what I was wearing. In split of moment I realized it wasn't just me but each one of us. I rushed to watch the video. A run of all the hostel party pictures, zoomed in at places you wouldn't want them to, repeatedly shown on a loop, covering each one of us! There was her, my inconsolable friend. This was all over the campus as we just watched it on our laptops. Probably them laughing at it and feeling proud!
"Some guy wanted to give it back to this senior who said no to him", someone informed. He had access to her laptop, he found these there. Her batch pictures are here too." Morphed pictures, played on loop with a most possible dirty song and zoomed in to show compromised places. "It's removed from the sharing now.", my senior consoled.
"Someone put it back", exclaimed a batchmate. It would disappear and reappear.
"Sour grapes", I am sick of this reasoning. No, no one has the right to do this to anyone. No one. Each picture reminds me how dirty I felt of living there, being among them. And in recent years, one such video was uploaded on YouTube! IT WAS. I cry as write this, I wish I could smack those boys. (It was removed after a spam complaint and I have a hate email in inbox for reporting spam)
I write this today because a 4-year senior of mine mentions a similar experience. I write this today because 5 year junior of mine experiences the same, when her FB profile pictures were morphed on unforgivable images.
I write this today because one decade is too long a time for people experiencing same things over and over again!
I write this today because for the rest of my college time, we were not allowed to take pictures from any other camera apart from the hostel camera. THIS was a RULE of the common room. Because we lived in a fear that our OWN batchmates would make it difficult for us if they get access to it. Because my photographer friend spent hours segregating pics which can't be zoomed in and spent utmost caution in sharing pictures. Not because of an outsider but my very own batch!
Saraswati
By second year, I had sort of made peace with the biases. May be I gave in to some, kept some to fight later and ignored some. May be all those harmonal reasons they give are true. May be skewed sex ratio makes it like this. Reasons we told ourselves, reasons we seldom believed in, reasons we wish were not true! But anyway, how much worse could it be as long as we ignore it? May be "sour grapes", is a reason.
She was crying today in the wing. Inconsolable and innocent, I remember her face. Red wet eyes with anger, regret and helplessness. "They made a collage of our pictures and put it on DC++", another friend mentioned. "Which pics?", I asked. The hostel party (happens inside the hostel) ones. "Probably just a collage, of all of us. I am sure it should be okay.". "You might want to see it first because it is NOT okay", she said.
The heart stopped for moment. I tried to remember what I was wearing. In split of moment I realized it wasn't just me but each one of us. I rushed to watch the video. A run of all the hostel party pictures, zoomed in at places you wouldn't want them to, repeatedly shown on a loop, covering each one of us! There was her, my inconsolable friend. This was all over the campus as we just watched it on our laptops. Probably them laughing at it and feeling proud!
"Some guy wanted to give it back to this senior who said no to him", someone informed. He had access to her laptop, he found these there. Her batch pictures are here too." Morphed pictures, played on loop with a most possible dirty song and zoomed in to show compromised places. "It's removed from the sharing now.", my senior consoled.
"Someone put it back", exclaimed a batchmate. It would disappear and reappear.
"Sour grapes", I am sick of this reasoning. No, no one has the right to do this to anyone. No one. Each picture reminds me how dirty I felt of living there, being among them. And in recent years, one such video was uploaded on YouTube! IT WAS. I cry as write this, I wish I could smack those
I write this today because a 4-year senior of mine mentions a similar experience. I write this today because 5 year junior of mine experiences the same, when her FB profile pictures were morphed on unforgivable images.
I write this today because one decade is too long a time for people experiencing same things over and over again!
I write this today because for the rest of my college time, we were not allowed to take pictures from any other camera apart from the hostel camera. THIS was a RULE of the common room. Because we lived in a fear that our OWN batchmates would make it difficult for us if they get access to it. Because my photographer friend spent hours segregating pics which can't be zoomed in and spent utmost caution in sharing pictures. Not because of an outsider but my very own batch!
Saraswati
Feel just sad ... And ashamed
ReplyDeleteThere were compromising videos/images of guys too in DC. The OP activities were shot and posted on DC. The Beauty Pageant, The Superman, Savita Bhabi etc. Hope you shed some light on these incidents too despite the victims not being girls. or is it just a post to victimize a specific gender ?
ReplyDeletehow is your comment helpful? are you trying to bring light on some boys who were victimized? then why not talk about that directly, instead of bringing in gender? why do you put down someone who is attempting to give voice to their feeling disrespected by disrespecting them further?
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteIf you have actually been reading this space, you would have known that the author believes that this is not an us vs them problem. Such a perspective on the issue defeats the purpose of creating respect for other human beings irrespective of gender. The perpetrators in these cases are as much victims of what soceital conditioning has made out them. Such disrespect skews their relationship with most of humanity and many sides of what makes them human.
DeleteYOU can speak about the issues you have raised since you have experienced them and have a critique to put forth. You shall receive the support of gender sensitive beings. What you are saying is the same issue, closely intertwined. This girl has spoken from her perspectives, her point of view. You should certainly do the same. The way in which you have concluded your comment seems to detract from the discussion and belittles it. Hope your future contributions to the world are constructive. Looking forward to hear what you have to say.